Does Anybody See?

Today, I tried out a new church. I have been attending a larger church in town, and after 4-5 times attending and having only one person come have a conversation with me I then decided it was time to find a friendlier crowd. It has been a humbling past few months with nights of loneliness and doubt. I am a relational person who loves to spend time with people, so to have no one but God and dogs has been an adjustment. My eyes have been opened again to what it is like to be a 'single' person in a new place sitting in the back of a church and desiring for friendships, but to have no one but my new friend 70 something old Dorothy talk to me. It reminds me of lyrics from the Casting Crowns song, "Does Anybody Hear Her,":
       "Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
       Or does anybody even know she's going down today,
       Under the shadow of our steeple,
       With all the lost and lonely people,
       Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me,
       Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?"

It is humbling to be a pastor's wife to be in this position, because I have been nestled away in a loving church where it is a rare occurrence to have a visitor who is not approached by at least one person for conversation. I have not felt that twinge of loneliness of the single life in quite a few years, but I am taking it as a reminder to be involved in the lives of the people around me even if it's uncomfortable.

How many times have you missed the mark of Luke 10:27, to love your neighbor as yourself? When we are wrapped up in ourselves and content with complacency, then we miss out on the bigger picture. Even though it was frustrating for me to sit in a church for over a month and not make a friend, it actually made me more sad for the church members who missed an opportunity. They missed the chance to hear a story, to share the burden, and to fulfill the great commission to a saint in need. Our job doesn't end when a person is saved, but our journey with them is just beginning. The saved also experience loneliness, depression, defeat, and self doubt. The courteous smile and handshake aren't enough to fulfill God's commandment of love. If that's your idea of living out the Great Commission, then please pick up your Bible and pray for your eyes to be opened and your heart to burdened for the lives around you. I don't speak this out of living this out perfectly, because I do not live this out everyday, let alone every Sunday. It's a challenge to myself as well to not let my self-pity restrict my ministry.

I love relationships and friendships, but the biggest sin in my life is picking and choosing who I minister to, and shutting out the hard to love or those I have differences with. If I feel wronged by you or offended by you, then I have it made up in my mind that you aren't going to ever change and you aren't worthy of my time. Man, what a shameful and sinful mindset about God's people. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that kind of treatment, so God has repeatedly shown me the dirtiness of my own heart towards others and challenged me to do better. He has humbled me to reach out and mend relationships that I would otherwise let fall to the way side.

God has called us to live life with one another, and that means through the thick and thin. I don't think there is anything more beautiful than watching a church overcome obstacles, and healing hurts and relationships to come out stronger on the other side. Relationships are messy and imperfect, but that doesn't excuse us from maintaining them and cultivating healing when it is needed. God has called each of us from our pew to meet people and love people. Challenge yourself to leave your usual seat in church and sit somewhere different. See the new faces and reach out to them, because you never know what burden they brought through the church doors or the hurt they are hoping someone will help them bear. Don't just reach out to the new people, but really get to know that family in your church you just could never understand. Make new efforts to live intentionally in your church and community.

My time in the new church was refreshing. I had numerous people introduce themselves to me, ask me a bit about myself, and even exchange phone numbers with me to call if I need anything. The music minister's wife invited me to lunch and I got to share a bit of my currently crazy life with her. They bought my lunch, and we have plans to get together this week. They have NO idea how much I needed that, to have a friendship down here and be made a part of their day. Just because I am a pastor's wife and established Christian, it doesn't mean I am never in need of tending, so imagine all the more the needs of the people you meet in your daily life who don't have the hope of Christ. Know there are hidden hurts in the Christians in your congregation- the loneliness of the single life, the hurt of divorce, the grief of a widow, etc, and meet people in the midst of their needs and help them through it. If you are hurting, then find a good Church home and let them carry you through. Let Christ be our guide, and let's live out our faith to the fullest extent.

Will Work for...

Have you ever felt like God "called" you to do something particular with your life? You know, like a man is called to be a pastor or in my case I felt "called" to be  doctor. No, God didn't dial down from Heaven and verbally tell me to be a doctor, but through a course of years of prayer, questioning, and discernment I jumped on board with what I felt God told me was the calling of my life. I didn't understand why He chose me and I had no idea how I would get there or what my life would eventually look like, but I began to pursue this calling. There have been trials along the way, especially lately, that have made me question my life's purpose. I have been discouraged that I'm not fulfilling God's desire for my life and feel like I'm wasting time not reaching people like I am supposed. It really got me thinking the last few days what it means when a Christian says he/she is called.

I absolutely believe that God puts desires and directions in our hearts that are unique for each person, but I've been wondering the past few days if we make too big a deal out of our "calling." Is this an American Christian practice, or have Christians always felt like there was one job they were meant to do their entire lives and anything less is a waste? I don't have an answer to that yet, but I do plan to research it. I just notice so many of us, myself included, complain we aren't fulfilling our calling. "We aren't doing anything that's Kingdom worthy." "We aren't fulfilled by our work." "We are just DONE with these stupid jobs." We aren't paid enough, appreciated enough, leading people to Christ everyday, impacting the World every day so apparently what we are doing isn't important. It's our attitude we carry daily into work, which I believe trickles down into our personal relationships, our physical well being, and relationship with the Lord. If we aren't doing that one thing, then by golly our life is meaningless!

It's been on my heart that this is false. I don't think 100% of our life is spent feeling fulfilled and rewarded, because there are detours along the way. Maybe you questioned your abilities to perform the job at hand, so you end up at some other job that you aren't good at and you're miserable. You realize your mistake, but God takes the time in that job to teach you trust and patience. Maybe God allowed the Devil to try to separate you from Him, by taking you from your dream career like he did Job. You are stuck working at a job you hate or maybe you no longer have work. You feel like a failure, but God is using this time to strengthen your belief in Him and truly teach you what it means to praise Him in the storm. Maybe you just don't have a clear picture of what you are supposed to do, and it feels like everyone else around you is succeeding and changing the world and you're left in their dust. You are discouraged that your time will never come, but God is teaching you perseverance and how to seek Him. Maybe, just maybe, God has called you to an unglamorous profession where you are undervalued, taken advantage of, overworked, under- payed, and mentally exhausted. It's EXACTLY what He's called you to do, but you just want another door to open. Only, you don't know how good you have it. Your bills are paid and your family is cared for, but you just want to feel appreciated for what you do.

The thing is, no matter your situation, God has a purpose. It doesn't mean our spiritual calling is full of adventure and glamour. We all can't be missionaries to foreign lands or visionaries to save orphans and the oppressed. We aren't all going to be preachers or gifted at personally leading many to Christ. Maybe you are the seed sower who is effecting the people around you and you will NEVER even know it. Your time in a what seems menial job is refining your relationships with God, and your spirit of hard work, encouragement, and faith are a testament to your co-workers in ways they may never tell you. They know there is something different about you, and God is using your placement to change just one person. Isn't that alone worth the trials of the job?

According to Genesis 3:17 "...The ground is cursed because of you. You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life..."  It seems we in America forget that work will be hard and not always make us feel like warm and fuzzy inside. I forget this over and over again. Instead of being thankful for work, I'm instead complaining about my job for various reasons. All of this reminded me of what we are all 'called' to do: "And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27. Therefore, no matter our job we can fulfill the most important calling: We can love God and we can love others. It's that simple.