The last 8 years since I have moved away from my parent's has been interesting. I went to school in Springfield, MO, eventually fell in love with the town, but was unable to find a job in the area after graduating. I was heartbroken, moved home for the summer, and then landed a job in the big old city of St. Louis. I packed my belongings into my Yaris- which amounted to a computer and laundry basket of clothes- and moved into my friends apartment until I found a place to live. A month later I found a quaint 1 bedroom apartment and made it home. I had no furniture, so I borrowed an air mattress from my parents, and not a plush one made for camping, a thin cheap mattress that was like an over-sized raft for a pool. One of my friend's parents caught wind that I was furniture-less, so she loaded up her mini van and brought me a bed, a small tv, tv trays, and a few movies. My mattress served as a couch until I bought a futon from Wal-Mart, I bought curtains and bathroom stuff, and my aunt and uncle lent me a kitchen table- for better or worse it was home.
I hated my first year in STL. I had a few friends, but they were often too busy to hang out. I found a church I was uber stoked about, met a few awesome people, but later left the church due to some personal convictions (long story). My job paid the bills, I met some nice people, but overall hated it because it was a contract position and not guaranteed long-term labor. I was still contemplating med school and was stressed on how I could possibly pay for study materials. Most of my nights that first year were spent cooking dinner alone, being scared of the peeping Tom in my apartment complex, drinking St. James wine out of my Wal-Mart mugs, and watching the 3 movies my friend lent me over and over again. I would mix it up with renting movies at Family video and eating sour straws on a good night. It was miserable, lonely, and I wanted to move far away. I was depressed and ready to see a psychiatrist, but God picked me up and planted some amazing friends in my life.
I became part of new church plant serving the inner city population. I was extremely involved in a small group, and they were the most amazing group of individuals I had ever met. We laughed, cried, ate pie, and shared our deepest thoughts with one another- exactly what the Church body should be. I moved into a new apartment with an acquaintance, which had some rough patches, but I was able to save a ton of money to help pay for med school admittance. I met my future husband. I fell in love with STL, the amazing restaurants, the beautiful city parks, the people, and best of all the architecture. I matured and was flourishing. I decided to finally applyto medical school, and got accepted in KC, MO which meant ANOTHER move. Almost 3 years ago I moved to KC and started a new adventure, with hopes of returning to my beloved STL some day.
My first year of medical school was rough, all I did was study and avoid gun shots in my neighborhood. I lived in a hospital converted to apartments across from my school, planned a wedding, lived 3.5 hrs from my fiance, and studied my butt off. It was stressful to say the least, and KC was not my favorite place to be. I missed my friends in STL, and felt unsettled in KC. Once I married, I figured I would feel more at home in KC but that wasn't the case.
Robert and I moved from hospital apartment to a large apartment with wood floors in a better part of the city with little furniture and a new puppy. It was a nice apartment but looked barren with our lack of furniture and decor. We had time to check out some of the fun places in KC, but to me, nothing compared to STL. Robert got hired as a head pastor 30 minutes away to a small suburban area, and he spent a lot of time with daily commutes. We lost eligibility for the housing grant once Robert had a full time job, so we decided to find a home near the church. Here I was, a woman who grew to love the city life and urban church, moving out to a farming community with rows of houses that all look the same. My worst nightmare and something I swore I'd never do. Not to mention it was the 10th time in 8 years I had moved, so nothing felt like home.
We found a split level house that wasn't my dream, but it would do. We painted a few rooms, I hated all the colors, and spent months looking a the walls hating my house. Don't get me wrong, I was thankful for a house but it just didn't feel like home. We grew to love our church congregation (we still do in fact), but it has not been an easy road for me. I was terrified to be a pastor's wife of traditional Southern Baptist church. I grew in a SB church that was judgmental and legalistic, and I swore I'd never go to one again (catching the trend?). I instantly loved the people, but going back to Sunday school, organs, and dressing up for church was not an easy adjustment. In my mind it was a temporary situation while Robert and I were in school, but I had no plans of staying longer than our schooling.
I've slowly warmed up 'the burbs', and life in the KC metro, and my awesome church family but it's been a long process. Ask my husband, he will tell you of all the annoying times I told him about how someday we would be back in STL. Last week I had the opportunity of going back to my old stomping grounds in STL, and it felt so foreign driving in the crazy traffic into the city I'd dreamed about the past 3 years. In my mind it was still 'home', but my reality was changed once I went back. I got to enjoy catching up with old friends, seeing the beautiful buildings, and eating amazing food, all things that KC can't compete with, but in the end it no longer felt like home. I will always love my STL, but driving away I had the feeling that maybe I won't be back to live there after all. It makes me a bit sad, but I learned that home is where my husband is and where God has provided us to live. I came home last week feeling renewed and excited to make my home with Robert. God really did a work in my heart and now I can come home at night and say, "Honey, I'm HOME," and mean that 100%.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Putting life on Pause from Social Media
I have been taking a hiatus from Facebook, and who knows, maybe it will be a permanent change. Every now and then I get the itch to find out what's happening in the lives of my Facebook friends, so I login and am quickly reminded why it was time for me to step away. Aside from the fact I spend way too much time staring at the perfectly portrayed lives of my FB friends, I have become more and more irritated by the internet world. My opinions on life have taken deep roots in my being, and at the ripe age of 27 I am old, cantankerous and easily annoyed. It's not like I am proud of this fact, but I reached a point I could no longer login without rolling my eyes from some ridiculous post or status. I got in an argument on one of my friend's statuses, she erased the thread, and I said, "Self, it's time to quit wasting time with your panties in a wad over other people's opinions."
I am by no means perfect and my opinions are not the only ones exist- although, I do think I am always right ;)- but it was just time to throw in the towel. I know I am not the only one feeling the pressure and annoyance from the FB world. There are now the options to block statuses and pick and choose what you see from their profiles. Ridiculous. It's like you don't want to offend this so called friend, so you feel better about yourself by staying friends with them and blocking their info. I was doing this by the masses, and realized it was so dumb to be friends with a boatload of people I never talk to and their pictures and opinionated arrogant statuses made me burn with anger. Clearly, I was not in a healthy state of mind. The absolute worst part was when my own real life friends posted things that made irritated me. The guilt of blocking my actual friends...dun, dun, dun... was terrible.
I used to enjoy social media, but no mas. I can longer deal with political rants trying to sway the other side of how bad they are and how right you are. Nope, can't take it. I am done with postings about abortion, gay marriage, and gun control. I have strong convictions about all of these issues, but people, do you really think we don't know your opinions already? The 10 previous statuses made that clear, and sorry but the other side will not be swayed by your mass postings. I can longer roll my eyes at one more status about your awesome workout, your fabulous diet or supplements, or your wonderful lifestyle that is so much better than everyone elses'. I think my eyes are permanently crossed from all the eye rolling. I also cannot bite my tongue at one more ridiculous posts from "google scholars" on medical treatments, causes of disease, the treatments doctors are hiding because we are controlled by big pharma, etc. I am done with the doctor bashing, folks. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels their profession is constantly under attack by false claims and misrepresentation on social media. I found myself exhausted and frustrated every time I clicked through your perfect pictures that you so carefully chose to show how sweet and wonderful your life is. Dude, we know the truth...
The truth is life is messy. My house is covered in dog fur 24/7. My ceilings have a bit of wall paint splattered around the corners in each room, because I am too lazy to touch it up. My clothes don't quite fit like they did 2.5 years ago when I started medical school, and I often don't have the energy or motivation to go the gym at 8 at night after working all day to get my sexy body back. I try to eat healthy, but dang it I love grains, dairy, and all things dessert (Sue me). I'm often so stressed with school and managing a house and attempting to be a good wife, that I'm a bit snippy with my husband often on a daily basis (Thank goodness the man still loves me). I freely admit here and now that I am 27 and I've never voted. I am often ashamed of it, but my gosh, politics overwhelm me and I hate the political fighting and FB temper tantrums people throw. Maybe next election...
I'm going to be a doctor because I have always dreamed of working with children and GOD called me to this awesome profession. I love helping people, challenges, studying, counseling people, and medicine provided the perfect outlet. Medicine isn't perfect and the healthcare system isn't perfect, but by golly I'm excited to a doctor.
I feel like a weight has been lifted since I stepped away from the FB world, and I have pursued each day much happier than I did a few weeks ago. I no longer feel bad about being me. As women we are always comparing ourselves to one another, and I think FB is a dangerous place to live because it feeds this unhealthy obsession. Life is about how God convicts you to live, but it is not your job to pressure someone to live out your convictions. This has been a huge realization for me as well. Women, no matter if you are working or staying home / sending your kids to public school or homeschooling/ birthing at home or in the hospital /cloth diapering or store diapers /making every meal healthy or eating out a few times a week/ republican or democrat/ run 5 miles a day or only get exercise chasing your kids around/ the list could go on... be who GOD called YOU to be. Pray to God to convict you of the areas you need to work on and live like He leads you to and gain guidance from His word. This may be very different for each women, and that is the beauty of it all. I'm continuing to pray for conviction in my own life and patience to love each person for their unique attributes God has blessed them with.
I am by no means perfect and my opinions are not the only ones exist- although, I do think I am always right ;)- but it was just time to throw in the towel. I know I am not the only one feeling the pressure and annoyance from the FB world. There are now the options to block statuses and pick and choose what you see from their profiles. Ridiculous. It's like you don't want to offend this so called friend, so you feel better about yourself by staying friends with them and blocking their info. I was doing this by the masses, and realized it was so dumb to be friends with a boatload of people I never talk to and their pictures and opinionated arrogant statuses made me burn with anger. Clearly, I was not in a healthy state of mind. The absolute worst part was when my own real life friends posted things that made irritated me. The guilt of blocking my actual friends...dun, dun, dun... was terrible.
I used to enjoy social media, but no mas. I can longer deal with political rants trying to sway the other side of how bad they are and how right you are. Nope, can't take it. I am done with postings about abortion, gay marriage, and gun control. I have strong convictions about all of these issues, but people, do you really think we don't know your opinions already? The 10 previous statuses made that clear, and sorry but the other side will not be swayed by your mass postings. I can longer roll my eyes at one more status about your awesome workout, your fabulous diet or supplements, or your wonderful lifestyle that is so much better than everyone elses'. I think my eyes are permanently crossed from all the eye rolling. I also cannot bite my tongue at one more ridiculous posts from "google scholars" on medical treatments, causes of disease, the treatments doctors are hiding because we are controlled by big pharma, etc. I am done with the doctor bashing, folks. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels their profession is constantly under attack by false claims and misrepresentation on social media. I found myself exhausted and frustrated every time I clicked through your perfect pictures that you so carefully chose to show how sweet and wonderful your life is. Dude, we know the truth...
The truth is life is messy. My house is covered in dog fur 24/7. My ceilings have a bit of wall paint splattered around the corners in each room, because I am too lazy to touch it up. My clothes don't quite fit like they did 2.5 years ago when I started medical school, and I often don't have the energy or motivation to go the gym at 8 at night after working all day to get my sexy body back. I try to eat healthy, but dang it I love grains, dairy, and all things dessert (Sue me). I'm often so stressed with school and managing a house and attempting to be a good wife, that I'm a bit snippy with my husband often on a daily basis (Thank goodness the man still loves me). I freely admit here and now that I am 27 and I've never voted. I am often ashamed of it, but my gosh, politics overwhelm me and I hate the political fighting and FB temper tantrums people throw. Maybe next election...
I'm going to be a doctor because I have always dreamed of working with children and GOD called me to this awesome profession. I love helping people, challenges, studying, counseling people, and medicine provided the perfect outlet. Medicine isn't perfect and the healthcare system isn't perfect, but by golly I'm excited to a doctor.
I feel like a weight has been lifted since I stepped away from the FB world, and I have pursued each day much happier than I did a few weeks ago. I no longer feel bad about being me. As women we are always comparing ourselves to one another, and I think FB is a dangerous place to live because it feeds this unhealthy obsession. Life is about how God convicts you to live, but it is not your job to pressure someone to live out your convictions. This has been a huge realization for me as well. Women, no matter if you are working or staying home / sending your kids to public school or homeschooling/ birthing at home or in the hospital /cloth diapering or store diapers /making every meal healthy or eating out a few times a week/ republican or democrat/ run 5 miles a day or only get exercise chasing your kids around/ the list could go on... be who GOD called YOU to be. Pray to God to convict you of the areas you need to work on and live like He leads you to and gain guidance from His word. This may be very different for each women, and that is the beauty of it all. I'm continuing to pray for conviction in my own life and patience to love each person for their unique attributes God has blessed them with.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
A higher calling
I've been thinking a lot lately all the time about life. My weeks as of late have been full of questioning God's purpose for my medical career. One minute I feel content with pursuing a pediatric private practice and the next I'm seduced by the excitement of the operating room and ponder becoming a surgeon. It's been sooooo confusing. I then start to factor future kids in the equation, and become doubtful I can ever be good wife, mother, and doctor. I question and doubt all day long, and then enters Satan with his horns and pitchfork making me doubt my purpose as a woman. Darn that little devil man.
He is good at what he does, ya know?! Our culture is so diluted from God's original plan that it's like, "Whoa, who the heck knows what it means to be a Christian man or woman?!?!" I know most days I sure don't. I know women from many walks of life who serve many different roles: Some work full-time, some stay home and teach their kids, and some do a smidge of both. Almost every one of them seems to wrestle with society's pressures and expectations to do it all. But what does God want?
Seriously, because I feel like we as a culture no longer have a clear vision of what it means to fill our Godly roles.
It makes me sad. Not only are individuals lacking God's direction and purpose, but our family's and our relationships are crumbling before our sight because of our lack of reverence for what God wants from us. It's not about us. It's not about us. It's not about us. IT IS ABOUT HIM, THE MOST HIGH GOD.
Wow, I need to say that to myself everyday in the mirror because those words are powerful and life changing.
We will never be perfect, but are we daily surrendering every thought, action, and deed to what God wants? I know the answer for me is absolutely not. If I was doing that, what would my life look like? Way different that's for sure. My soul has been heavily burdened by our lack of reverence for God and what he desires for our lives. I'm ashamed of how I have been living and what I invest my time and energy into instead of time with God. I'm burdened for marriages and families struggle because of Satan's reign in the households of America. We are drowning in our own sin and we don't even know it . We have men who have lost sight of the role of the man to love his bride and care for his family like Christ loves the church.
" Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— " Ephesians 5
Wow, what a role men have. Crazy tough, but wow, what a reward they will get for pursuing this path Christ called them too. I get sickened by the way our culture has taught men to value videogames full of killing and obscenities, movies laden with sex and violence, sports events, and drinking beers with the guys over cherishing and investing in their families and relationships. Every addiction besides being addicted to family has taken over the lives of our men. Women are left feeling alone and not valued, and kids are taught what's most important to daddy and that's sure not spending time with them.
Then of course the opposite side of the coin is what God has called women to do.
"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5.
Let me just say, I am the world's worst at submitting to my husband. I'm a bull-headed, feisty lady who is learning daily what it means to be a Godly women. Then society makes me think I have it all wrong. Then I question maybe I'm pursuing a career God never intended. Then I assert my opinion and try to rule the house. Whhhhhaattt, am I not supposed to do that? OOOPPPs :) Society tells us to be strong, sexy women who "Don't need no stinkin' man." It's not valued to be a mom, to desire kids, or to care our husbands. We have an attitude of whatev, you can join along the ride, but I will do what I want, when I want, I am woman hear me roar!
In my meager 1.5 years of marriage, I have made a lot of "Ooopsies," but God has really laid on my heart to get on my knees in prayer for my role as a wife and woman and for my marriage, and to pray for other marriages to be radically changed. I need to make some internal changes and pursue God's utmost for my life. I've already set my goal to pray daily and read my Bible, which as a medical student are minor miracles some days. Change starts with one person. One. I have also decided to fast from television shows and movies, and feast on God's word to find direction for my life. Women, will you join me as I cry out to God to 1) Transform my heart, 2.) Captivate women across our country, 3.) Call men from their hiding places and show them the extraordinary adventures He has intended for them.
God, please take us back to the basics. (Cue early 90s Christian pop song).
He is good at what he does, ya know?! Our culture is so diluted from God's original plan that it's like, "Whoa, who the heck knows what it means to be a Christian man or woman?!?!" I know most days I sure don't. I know women from many walks of life who serve many different roles: Some work full-time, some stay home and teach their kids, and some do a smidge of both. Almost every one of them seems to wrestle with society's pressures and expectations to do it all. But what does God want?
Seriously, because I feel like we as a culture no longer have a clear vision of what it means to fill our Godly roles.
It makes me sad. Not only are individuals lacking God's direction and purpose, but our family's and our relationships are crumbling before our sight because of our lack of reverence for what God wants from us. It's not about us. It's not about us. It's not about us. IT IS ABOUT HIM, THE MOST HIGH GOD.
Wow, I need to say that to myself everyday in the mirror because those words are powerful and life changing.
We will never be perfect, but are we daily surrendering every thought, action, and deed to what God wants? I know the answer for me is absolutely not. If I was doing that, what would my life look like? Way different that's for sure. My soul has been heavily burdened by our lack of reverence for God and what he desires for our lives. I'm ashamed of how I have been living and what I invest my time and energy into instead of time with God. I'm burdened for marriages and families struggle because of Satan's reign in the households of America. We are drowning in our own sin and we don't even know it . We have men who have lost sight of the role of the man to love his bride and care for his family like Christ loves the church.
" Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— " Ephesians 5
Wow, what a role men have. Crazy tough, but wow, what a reward they will get for pursuing this path Christ called them too. I get sickened by the way our culture has taught men to value videogames full of killing and obscenities, movies laden with sex and violence, sports events, and drinking beers with the guys over cherishing and investing in their families and relationships. Every addiction besides being addicted to family has taken over the lives of our men. Women are left feeling alone and not valued, and kids are taught what's most important to daddy and that's sure not spending time with them.
Then of course the opposite side of the coin is what God has called women to do.
"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5.
Let me just say, I am the world's worst at submitting to my husband. I'm a bull-headed, feisty lady who is learning daily what it means to be a Godly women. Then society makes me think I have it all wrong. Then I question maybe I'm pursuing a career God never intended. Then I assert my opinion and try to rule the house. Whhhhhaattt, am I not supposed to do that? OOOPPPs :) Society tells us to be strong, sexy women who "Don't need no stinkin' man." It's not valued to be a mom, to desire kids, or to care our husbands. We have an attitude of whatev, you can join along the ride, but I will do what I want, when I want, I am woman hear me roar!
In my meager 1.5 years of marriage, I have made a lot of "Ooopsies," but God has really laid on my heart to get on my knees in prayer for my role as a wife and woman and for my marriage, and to pray for other marriages to be radically changed. I need to make some internal changes and pursue God's utmost for my life. I've already set my goal to pray daily and read my Bible, which as a medical student are minor miracles some days. Change starts with one person. One. I have also decided to fast from television shows and movies, and feast on God's word to find direction for my life. Women, will you join me as I cry out to God to 1) Transform my heart, 2.) Captivate women across our country, 3.) Call men from their hiding places and show them the extraordinary adventures He has intended for them.
God, please take us back to the basics. (Cue early 90s Christian pop song).
Friday, February 22, 2013
Hello God, are you there?
Lately I've been questioning God about just about everything. I've been doubting my career, my relationships, my faith, etc.
God, why did you lead me to medical school? Did our signals get crossed, and I was supposed to do something else?
God, why do I feel alone?
God, when will I finally feel like I'm doing something for your kingdom?
God, why are relationships so hard?
God, why did you make me like you did? You really love me???? Are you sure? Because I don't love myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the things I say. I hate the ugliness of my heart. I hate the way I feel. I just don't feel fit for serving You.
I know the drill. Search for God, talk with God, find contentment. He is there. He does love you and uses the most unlikely person to fulfill His work. But do you have those days that drag to weeks that lead to months of feeling a million miles from God? Satan's work for sure, but sometimes it feels so real and so truthful it is hard to remember there is a creator who loves and adores me. It becomes a battle to look in the mirror, because all I see is failure. Failure to extend grace to others. Failure to stop gossiping. Failure to be patient. Failure to be beautiful. It is a never-ending struggle to be confident and believe I have purpose for God's kingdom.
I have a feeling I'm not alone. I think a lot of women are plagued with these same battles. We second guess our station in life and compare it to other women. Am I doing it right, or is she? How many times have you found yourself there? In the deep dark pit of Satan's lies? In a pit that feels like you will never crawl out? It doesn't help that we put on a our best around others. We don't share our struggles. We don't let our guard down. We put on our Sunday best and pretend like all is well in the world. Believe me, I feel like I'm there every stinking day. Especially lately.
Then of course Satan likes to run with those feelings and tell us they aren't significant. God doesn't care about my feelings, when people around the world are suffering unimaginable injustices. He doesn't have time to hear about my insignificant complaints when other people are praying for food, shelter, and freedom. Who am I?
I'm in need of a breath of life to remind me of my purpose. Here is my current favorite worship song. It's repetitive, but powerful.
God, why did you lead me to medical school? Did our signals get crossed, and I was supposed to do something else?
God, why do I feel alone?
God, when will I finally feel like I'm doing something for your kingdom?
God, why are relationships so hard?
God, why did you make me like you did? You really love me???? Are you sure? Because I don't love myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the things I say. I hate the ugliness of my heart. I hate the way I feel. I just don't feel fit for serving You.
I know the drill. Search for God, talk with God, find contentment. He is there. He does love you and uses the most unlikely person to fulfill His work. But do you have those days that drag to weeks that lead to months of feeling a million miles from God? Satan's work for sure, but sometimes it feels so real and so truthful it is hard to remember there is a creator who loves and adores me. It becomes a battle to look in the mirror, because all I see is failure. Failure to extend grace to others. Failure to stop gossiping. Failure to be patient. Failure to be beautiful. It is a never-ending struggle to be confident and believe I have purpose for God's kingdom.
I have a feeling I'm not alone. I think a lot of women are plagued with these same battles. We second guess our station in life and compare it to other women. Am I doing it right, or is she? How many times have you found yourself there? In the deep dark pit of Satan's lies? In a pit that feels like you will never crawl out? It doesn't help that we put on a our best around others. We don't share our struggles. We don't let our guard down. We put on our Sunday best and pretend like all is well in the world. Believe me, I feel like I'm there every stinking day. Especially lately.
Then of course Satan likes to run with those feelings and tell us they aren't significant. God doesn't care about my feelings, when people around the world are suffering unimaginable injustices. He doesn't have time to hear about my insignificant complaints when other people are praying for food, shelter, and freedom. Who am I?
I'm in need of a breath of life to remind me of my purpose. Here is my current favorite worship song. It's repetitive, but powerful.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
You'll Freeze Your Titties Off: Humor in Unexpected Places
Hi. I'm Hannah. A preacher's wife. A medical student. A sassy little lady who is living a life she never saw coming. Life has been...well...interesting the past 2.5 years. I started medical school, got married, became a pastor's wife, and the "mom" of two awesome dogs.
It's been a wild ride so far as two 26 years old attempting to establish a marriage and lead a church. It's a bloodbath sometimes just making it through the week between school, housework, church, and learning how to love a new spouse through all the craziness. I often feel like people expect me to be perfect and have some blissful marriage full of love and butterflies because I'm married to the pastor, but maybe that's just the expectation I put on myself. I felt compelled to start blogging about my adventures as a Christian woman attempting to follow the call Jesus has set before me, but being real and honest about struggles every woman faces but doesn't discuss. Maybe it's shame. Pressure from society. Whatever your reason, I think it's time Christian woman united and uplifted one another with laughs, love, and encouragement. So there it is. My purpose of this blog. I guess my first blog is meant to make you laugh. The story behind my title:
A few weeks ago I was a door greeter before our Sunday evening service. I was holding the door open for my favorite little lady. She says to me, "Sweetie, you better get inside, it's cold out here." I assured her I was fine and that the weather was actually quite nice. She replied, "Well you are going to freeze." I again assured her I was okay to hold the door for her. She then came from left field and said, "Well you are going to freeze your titties off," and then proceeded to grab my cardigan and close it for me. Oh. my. goodness. My jaw dropped and I was too shocked to say anything. She then said, "You are supposed to laugh," and then walked off.
We often have the pressure of being perfect, not messing up, living up to some unreal expectation of a woman of God. It's just not true. Beyond appearances we are real women with personalities. I saw a new side of my little lady friend when she made me laugh in the the most unexpected way, and it was a great reminder that we can live and breath and be honest with our sisters in Christ. She reminded me I can be the fun, sassy, often intense Hannah that I am and it's not a sin. Thank you Jesus, because the sass just has a mind of it's own.
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