Maybe You're the Problem After All

Hate. A word I use on a daily basis.

           

            “I hate how I look!”

            “I hate traffic!”

            “I hate goat cheese!”

That’s just a few examples of how I use this word, but in reality these are juvenile examples of how I use a powerful word. The meaning gets diluted when the word is used to describe petty feelings.

            Hate: feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone) synonyms: loathe, detest, despise,            dislike, abhor, execrate

            Abhor: regard with disgust and hatred

This word gets thrown around so much- this side hates such and such and it’s a crime. It seems like every day in the news we are reading about hate crimes, and our newest saga has been the Ferguson ordeal.  My emotions were all over the map while trying to dissect my thoughts of the complex issue of racism in America. I was frustrated and angry and wanted to scream over the inundation of articles and news reports on my social media. 

     "What good is this?! There is no solution to get past this!" 

 God spoke to my heart to calm down, and to see the bigger picture. People are hurt and hearts are full of hate and resentment: a feeling I know all too well. God reminded me to speak words of love, because I too had harbored hate in my heart before. I remember the suffocation I experienced by what seemed an inescapable circumstance that seemed too big to be resolved. 

     "God, please, make this go away. It's never going to get better. I CANNOT survive this with my           sanity."

The hate festered, and I was overcome with unhappiness that I was convinced was not my doing. I’m not talking a mild dislike, but a dark emotion that swallowed my heart and consumed by mind. Anxiety would grip me and I would have palpitations at sight of the hated. My eyes would roll and then glare icy stares without any provocation. Just the thought of the hated made me want scream. I was disgusted by everything the hated did, but I was obsessed with knowing more and more about the hated. I loathed the hated’s every move.  I prayed the hated would no longer be a part of my life. I justified my feelings.

     “I know I shouldn’t dislike --------- so much, but --------- did this, and I’m RIGHT. - ----, deserves        my feelings. “

The hate intensified, and I prayed for the hated to change. It was not until a sermon about God’s forgiveness and love that my heart began to thaw. I do not remember the specifics of the message, but I remember realizing the only way to get past the hate was to change my own heart. God did not give conditions on His love for us, and we were not to have conditions for others. I had to pray daily for my heart to love NO MATTER WHAT. I had to tame my tongue and pray through my negativity. I had to pray for newness. God was the only way I made it through and sing a new tune today.

The only way to heal hate is to give it to Jesus for him to bear. We are utterly incapable of overcoming the evil of hate without the power of the cross and the man who defeated the hate of man to save us all.  It does not matter if we feel justified. We are not. It does not matter if they are wrong. Love anyways. Meet people where they are and understand their experiences. Pray for your heart to love without having your guard up, and watch the change that occurs in not only you but in the person you hate. God changes what seems impossible.

The recent news and the ugliness in the world seems impossible to ever be healed. We can't go back, but we can look forward and pray for God to make our hearts new. We ALL need to be humbled to serve and love fellow man, whether they reciprocate the love. 

     "And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul        and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You              shall love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22:37-39

It may be too simplified for some of your tastes, but I speak from experience the ONLY way to slay the demons in our world is by the light of Jesus. My heart has tasted the blackness of hate, and the only way I won was by the power of our Savior.

I leave you with dialogue between Frodo and Sam from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I was watching it the other night and thought it was fitting. 

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167261/quotes)

Jesus is the good. Share the news and live out his message. 

Peace.